


Remember What It Feels Like And Don't Do That To Me

by StormiJ



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2019-10-05 19:04:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17330645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormiJ/pseuds/StormiJ
Summary: “Why, Lena? Why did you do it?” Kara yelled as she walked towards Lena quickly, helmet from the suit in hand.“Why did I do what, Supergirl?” Lena let out an annoyed growl of sorts while simultaneously sounding very tired. After all, she had worked all day trying to clear the air of Kryptonite for Kara so why was she practically screaming at her from across the DEO in front of all of the agents.“Why did you make the suit?” Lena snorts at that. She thought to herself ‘Oh I don’t know Kara maybe to stop you from fucking dying, but sure ask the question as if you don’t know my answer.’“Why wouldn’t I?” This time Kara made a noise that resembled a snort. Scoffing at the answer because apparently, it wasn’t good enough. Lena raised an eyebrow, daring Kara to challenge her, daring her to ask the question Lena knew she wanted to ask.ORKara can't find any explainable reason as to why Lena made her the suit, especially with the hatred that always made itself present in Lena's eyes whenever she walked into the room. But Lena finally gives her the reason. She's not too happy with it. And they both break.





	1. I Made It In Pain

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really looking forward to writing this one. It's only going to be a few chapters since I've got other projects to come. But I will definitely put effort into making sure the story ends in a way that doesn't have Lena and Kara hating each other. I can't have my OTP like that now can I? :)

“Why, Lena? Why did you do it?” Kara yelled as she walked towards Lena quickly, helmet from the suit in hand. 

“Why did I do what, Supergirl?” Lena let out an annoyed growl of sorts while simultaneously sounding very tired. After all, she had worked all day trying to clear the air of Kryptonite for Kara so why was she practically screaming at her from across the DEO in front of all of the agents. 

“Why did you make the suit?” Lena snorts at that. She thought to herself ‘Oh I don’t know Kara maybe to stop you from fucking dying, but sure ask the question as if you don’t know my answer.’

“Why wouldn’t I?” This time Kara made a noise that resembled a snort. Scoffing at the answer because apparently, it wasn’t good enough. Lena raised an eyebrow, daring Kara to challenge her, daring her to ask the question Lena knew she wanted to ask.

“Well, I don’t understand. Because you have barely acknowledged my presence these last few months when you’ve been here at the DEO. So, I’ll ask again. Why the hell did you make me a suit when I know for a fact that you can barely stand to look at me?” Kara looked infuriated. It was as if she wasn’t thankful that Lena had saved her life. Lena’s jaw clenched. ‘It wasn’t like I had gone out of my way to save her despite running two companies and assisting at the DEO. Because that’s just crazy.’ She mentally eye rolled at that one. Nevertheless, she chose to answer Kara before the girl of steel bent the actual round steel table in the middle of the DEO that they stood by.

“Remember when you told me how it felt? The kryptonite?” Kara tilted her head just the smallest inch to the right, not giving away any hint of emotion. “Like it was skin being seared off your bones? Like nails running through your blood? Lena questioned her with a voice laced with pain and rage, nearly choking on the words. 

Kara waited for her to continue, not daring to show that she was listening intently, feigning hate despite loving the women in front of her so deeply. Because she was angry. Because she had made no progress in talking to Lena as Supergirl for months and now suddenly she was her savior. It just didn’t make sense. 

“I knew right then, despite my anger at your complete dismissal of my character where I have proven myself to you so many times, despite seeing the god complex that had never been shown to me before, despite it all, I knew that I needed to protect you from this one thing. This one thing that could kill you.” Lena began walking around the table, her back facing Kara. She wasn’t about to watch the face of the hero slip into regret. Lena knew her argument was right. So, she continued. “Because you talked about it the way I talk about Lex. Like it’s tearing you up inside. Like there’s this drumming in your head that you can’t tune out. I could see it in your eyes how badly you feared it. So, as I walked away, I started formulating a plan.”

Lena hadn’t realized that tears of fury had formed in her eyes. All she knew was that they simultaneously burned and soothed the pain she was currently feeling. She hadn’t realized that she had made it back around the table and now Kara was facing her, confusion trapped in her eyes. She couldn’t let that look remain, she needed Kara to hear the truth before she broke down completely. 

“I made the suit with all the resentment and bitterness that you left me with after that night. You reminded me what it was like to hate again.” This time, the tears spilled. She felt her heart clenching deep in her chest even though it felt like it was stuck in her throat. She felt the veins in her arms and legs fill with this aching, numbing feeling. She felt empty. She felt… a hand being placed on her shoulder. 

“Lena…” 

“No, you don’t get to do that. Let me finish.” She shrugged Kara’s hand off and walked a little away from the middle, trying to get some distance so that she could say what needed to be said. 

“You reminded me how to feel broken again without anyone there to put the pieces together. And with this reminder, I made the suit. I made it and you had it, and I didn’t have to worry about you going out there afraid. I knew you would be safe. My designs never fail.” She laughed as if she realized something, then a serious look overtook her face with tears flowing freely now. 

“Maybe it won’t cloud your judgment the next time you think I’m the bad guy for wanting to help you. You’ll know that even when I hate you, that I will always protect you like you once promised me.” Lena hadn’t realized her mistake until after Kara began to speak.

“I didn’t tell you that, Kara di- oh.” Neither of them knew what to say. Every pair of eyes in that room was turned on them. “Lena, I was going to tell…” She trailed off. Even she wasn’t sure when she was going to tell Lena. 

“Save it. Because who you are when you’re wearing that suit, is not someone who sees me. And I was foolish to think that Kara Danvers could see me too.”

“Lena.” This time it was Kara feeling numb yet pained.

“Just tell me one thing, Kara. You owe it to me.” When Kara simply stared at her with a heartbroken look, she asked what had been on her mind for so long. “How did you make it believable?”

“Make what believable?”

“That you, Kara Danvers saw me. That you believed in me with every move I made. And how did you also, Supergirl, not see me? How did you manage that?”

Alex Danvers had been watching this whole thing unfold from above on the balcony. She heard it all, and her heart was breaking for both of them. They loved each other. Lena and Kara anyways. The Luthor and the Super in them were enemies. She listened intently as Lena monologued. 

“How do you live as one person leading two different lives with two separate views? How was I so naive to not see you as Kara Zor-El. A simple girl that fell from Krypton. Who is she more like? The one who thinks I’m out to get you or the one who thinks I could save the world?”

“I’m just me now.”

“No, you’re not. I don’t know who you are anymore. I don’t think I ever did. And I don’t think I ever will.”

And with those final words, she walked away from her Kara. And Kara watched her Lena go. It shattered both of them, and neither of them would be there to pick up each other’s pieces.


	2. If You Loved Me Like The Red Sun, Why Did You Turn Me Into Your Kryptonite?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof so I do think I'm going to make this a longer fic now. Maybe between 8k and 10k words. Don't want you guys to be too overwhelmed though with like a 20k one. Who knows? Feel free to check out my other works once you're done reading this.

The helmet fell from Kara’s hand when Alex’s voice interrupted her. She had zoned out. She doesn’t know for how long. But considering how all the agents had cleared the room and only her sister was left standing in front of her, she assumed it had been too long. Too long since Lena’s heart-wrenching words spilled out and left her empty.

“She said… she said she didn’t know who I was, who I am. How could she say that Alex?”

“Kara, you know I’m always on your side, but she has a point.”

“Has a point? Has a point?! Are you serious Alex?” The agent just looked carefully at her sister, eyes glazed over with sadness.

“You lied to her Kara. And out of all things, you started a fight with her in the middle of the DEO.”

“Okay, but forget that right now. Why didn’t she tell me she knew?”

“Like I said Kara, you lied to her. Why didn’t you tell her yourself?”

“Because... I don’t know Alex, okay. Probably for a million reasons. But how can she walk in here and just…” Kara groaned out in frustration before dropping her head down to Alex’s shoulder.  
“Hey, hey. Everything will turn out alright.”

“Will it? Because the face I saw when she was leaving was not one that was ever going to come back to me.”

“What do you mean back to you?”

“She’s my best friend Alex.

“Yeah, I know, but just the way you said that. Seemed like it had a different tone. A different meaning.” Kara just lifted her head up and wiped at her eyes. 

“It just means she was my red sunlight. She kept me tethered to the human part of me. And I’m not going to get that back. That’s what… that’s what I meant, I guess.”

“Okay. I won’t push you anymore on this, Kar. But, listen to me. You need to figure this out soon. Lena needs you and you need her. And if I know anything from the rants where you’ve gone on about her, is that she will be curled up with a bottle of whiskey right now. I also know that she’ll start shutting herself off from the world. Please don’t let it get that bad. I don’t want it to be like that. I care about her.”

“I know, sis.”

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

\---

Across town, on the balcony of the infamous L-Corp building, Lena stands nursing a bottle of whiskey in her hand. Alex’s predictions may have been off about being curled up, but Lena still was the type of person to need a drink to calm herself down. 

The only reason Lena was outside was because she had almost hoped that her caped best friend would fly by. Almost. But then, every other part of her was filled with this inexplicable rage. She had done everything for Kara. She had bought CatCo. She had built her a suit. She did so much. And she had kept her secret. She knew that last one was the most important one of them all.

Lena knew that Kara needed someone to be human with. She needed someone more than anything. She needed her. But, Lena wasn’t the one that chose to break them apart. 

“I hate you, Kara Danvers. I really hate you. And this time, I mean it.” Lena starts choking up. She has to just let it out. Even if who it’s directed to, isn’t there to listen.

“I know I used to tell you that I hated you when you stole my fries or hated when you gave me puppy dog eyes or called me Lee. But, I never meant any of those. I was joking and you knew that. But this one isn’t a joke. You have finally managed to tear me apart. That seems almost an impossible task since I grew up with a family that criticized every aspect of my life. But you’ve managed it, Kara. Somehow, someway, you broke us apart. And I never imagined that happening. Because we’ve always been there for each other. Why did you do this to us?”

“I didn’t want to.”

“Oh, so she does hear.”

“Whenever I fly around the city, day or night, my superhearing automatically picks up on your voice. It soothes me. And-”

“No. Don’t try to turn this into some stupid, sappy, all for nothing argument. You heard me.”

“But Lena I came to-”

“Came to what? Convince me that you were wrong for yelling at me in the middle of your workplace? Convince me that I was wrong for making the suit? Convince me that we both took things too far? Which one is it?

“I came to convince you that I love you more than anyone else. Lena, I love you, I do. You’re my red sun. I need you.”

“I know you do. I know all of that. But I don’t care, right now, don’t you get that? I know who you really are, Kara. I’ve known for so long.” Kara almost says something but stops when she hears Lena’s breath hitch. “So, don’t you want to know how I found out? How I found out what your real identity was?”

Kara held back her tears no longer and Lena let her’s go as well, angry and hot down her cheeks. 

“I found out in the worst way you could think possible. I found out because of my mother. How fucked up and cruel can the universe be for me to find out that way? Huh, Supergirl?”

There was nothing left to be said on either end. So, Kara flew away and Lena got her answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll see where this goes ;) until next time


	3. She Found Out And I Fell Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena relives the moment she found out who her best friend really was.
> 
> Kara flies to Maggie and she hears things that she may just need to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I wasn't quite ready to release it and im still not all the way happy with this. but it is what is is.

Lena remembers it so clearly. She remembers the last day her mother walked into her office. She remembers it because that’s the day her best friend became a stranger, someone she didn’t know. Because all she could see were lies now. And she was in so much pain.

“Lillian. To what do I owe your yearly visit for.”

“My dearest daughter. I have some news for you.”

“Yeah well whatever it is, mother, I don’t want to hear it.”

“Not even if it involves a certain reporter that you’ve taken a liking to over these last few years?”

“Don’t you dare. You don’t get to come in here and tell me you have something on Kara. She’s been nothing but a friend to me. And she has always stood up for me.

“Kara Danvers, maybe. But Kara Zor-El is a different story.”

“Zor-El? What does that name have to do with her? Mother, what are you getting at.”

“Lena, darling, I think you know what I’m getting at. You’re smart. Put the pieces together.”

Lena wracked her brain for any reasonable explanation. 

“So, she’s an alien? Big deal. There are lots of aliens on earth”

“She’s not just any alien, Lena.”

And that’s when Lena went cold. That’s when it clicked. That’s when she knew. She knew her best friend was the caped hero who flew around the city. The hero who saved countless lives. The hero who had saved her, so many times. 

Kara Danvers was Supergirl. And everything fell apart.

Lena hated remembering it. It made her veins feel as if they were filled with steel. Everything was weighing her down and she didn’t want to get back up. What was the point of getting up anyways? Nothing was worth it. Nothing was worth it because she didn’t have a Kara in her life anymore.

\---

“Why did I fly away? I’m such a coward.”

“Woah, woah. What happened, Little Danvers?” Maggie sees Kara’s face. She sees the tears streaming down and immediately knows something is wrong.

“Maggie, you’re the only one I can tell this, okay. I’m in love with Lena. I have been for a long time. And I think I’ve finally lost her.”

Maggie barely had time to process the words being spewed at her at a mile a minute.

“Lillian told Lena. She told Lena and Lena told me and now I can’t…”

“You can’t what?”

“I can’t do anything about it. I can’t do anything right now.”

“C’mere.” Maggie opened up her arms from where she was sitting on the couch so that her sister-in-law would come over.

“I can’t tell Alex that I’m gay because I don’t want her to feel like I’m trying to be better than her in every aspect of our lives. Eliza has always thought Alex could do better and I can’t fix that. I can’t tell Lena that I’m in love with her because I took too much time. I can’t breathe because I feel like I don’t have the one thing that grounds me. Being Supergirl was never enough, but being Lena’s friend was the one thing I did right. It was the one thing that never went wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve screwed up everything else before. As Supergirl, I’ve caused damage and I’ve hurt people. As a sister, I’ve fallen short. As a daughter, I don’t feel like I measure up. As all of these things, I wasn’t good enough. But with Lena, I had it all. We never had fights. We never felt like we were going to lose each other. We never did any of it. And now, it went wrong, and I lost her. What do I do, Maggie?”

“You can’t hide, Kara. For starters, you have to keep your head up and stay away from the shadows. You are one of the strongest people I’ve met, and I mean that literally too.” Kara chuckles at this. “But, you need to be who you are. So, Lena knows right now? Big deal. She’s hurt, Kara. Of course. But I see how you two are and I see how you two have described each other, just like you did now. You can get through this. Because you both love each other.”

“Not the way I want, Maggie.”

“Honey, your gaydar hasn’t come in yet. Guess you’ve got that late two-week delivery, should’ve paid the extra fee.”

“Shut up with your lame jokes, Maggie.” 

“You enjoy them.”

“Yeah.” Kara’s small giggle subsides back to whimpering.

“It’s alright, Little Danvers. You let yourself cry. But then, when you feel like you’re done, I’m going to make you get up and fix this. You two deserve the world. You two deserve each other.”

And soon, Kara has fallen asleep in Maggie’s arms, and Alex has come home to one of the cutest and saddest sights she’s ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof the next chapter will be much better im sorry guys


	4. Stalling With Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara realizes that maybe Alex knows more than she thought.
> 
> More advice on the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena isn't in this chapter. This chapter is a short Kara centric one. And the next will be Lena centric.

“Morning, Little Danvers. I don’t know about you but I slept like a rock. Barely moved.” Maggie says seriously. “Why, you ask? Well, maybe because the literal Girl of Steel weighed herself down on my lap the entire night!” 

At this point, Alex had already taken a picture as evidence that Maggie had been stuck underneath the hero for hours. Alex was laughing harder than she had before because she had assumed that Maggie would’ve woken up her sister and moved her off. But no, she had chosen to stay there until the sun had risen.

“Danvers, stop laughing at my long-lived predicament.”

“Sorry, Maggie. I didn’t mean to.” Kara grumbles sleepily.

“Sure you didn’t, Little Danvers. I’m sure you also didn’t mean to drool on me.”

“I don’t drool!”

“Honey, this wet spot ain’t from Alex.” Maggie winks and Alex blushes while Kara groans.

“Eww. Stop.” 

“Knew that would get you up. Alex has pancakes going in the kitchen.”

“Pancakes? How many?!”

“As many as you can eat.”

“You guys are the best.”  
“Yeah, yeah. Now let me stand up so I can get some feeling back in my legs. I’m gonna need them for tonight’s… activities with your sister.”

“I’ll ignore that since you gave me such good advice last night.”

“Oh yeah? What kind of advice did my wife give you?” Alex questioned.

“Classic Maggie Sawyer advice, baby.”

“That’s not a thing and you know it.”

“It works every time does it not?”

“Yeah, sure. So- hey! Bad Kara! No! Down!” Kara had snuck six pancakes off the plate to the side of the pan and Alex had no time to shoo her away with the dish towel that she had in her hand. “Really, Kara? You couldn’t wait till I finished the batch?”

“Nope. Hungry.” They barely catch her words in between the giant bites she’s been taking.

“God, anyways, what did you tell my darling sister?”

“Classified, Danvers. Unless she wants to tell you.”

“Kara?”

“I’ll tell you soon. You know I trust you, Alex. But right now, I can’t.”

“It’s okay, Kara. As long as you’re not in trouble or anything. You’re not in trouble, right?”

“Not with the law.”

“Oh, so this was Lena related.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you tell Maggie you were in love with her?”

“Wait, what?”

“I”m your sister. It was obvious.”

“She paid for the extra shipping cost.”

“Fuck off, Maggie.”

“What kind of shit advice did you tell her that involves shipping cost?”

“I was just telling her about gaydar. That was all.”

“Clearly, she thinks so little of me if she thought I didn’t see the looks shared between her and Lena.”

“She’s right here and she’s she can speak for herself.” 

“Alright, go on then.”

“I thought I was hiding it pretty well.”

“Do you know how hard it is for me to see my own sister eye-fuck someone?”

“What!? I never did that.”

“Little Danvers, even I’ve seen it.”

“Well, it was unknowingly then.”

“Unknowing my ass. The only thing you both don’t know is how much you’re in love with one another.”

“I did tell her I loved her.”

“If it was said in anger and in a platonic way, she probably didn’t take it like that.”

“Yeah, I was trying for it to sound more, but honestly I just didn’t want her to hate me. I wanted an easy solution.”

“There’s never an easy solution, Kara. Especially when it comes to Lena.” 

“I know. I’m gonna fix it though. I have to.”

“Whatever you need Little Danvers. Your sister and I are both here for you.”

“Yeah and we mean that, Kara.”

“I know. And when I’m done eating these pancakes, I’ll try and fix it for real this time.”

“You’ve already had 27 in the last few minutes. Each time I’ve put one down, it disappears in a flash!”

“Ha. Barry can do that too.”

“Shut up, Kara.”

“And finish your pancakes so I can finally get some rest.”

Kara didn’t really need this many pancakes. But she was beyond nervous for what she was about to confess to Lena next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought. Sorry once again for making it short but I have a certain plan


	5. Always My Hero No Matter What I Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter, finally finished this boi. ya welcome. also the first four chapters suck because i apparently didn't know how to write then. i mean i still dont. but yeesh its terrible. might fix later. who knows. okay im done.

“Alright, so let’s go over the plan one more time, Little Danvers.”

“Right.”

“What’s step one?”

“Ummm…”

“Hey, look at me, not the pancakes.” Kara couldn’t tear her eyes away from the ever-growing stack she was promised if she came up with a plan to get Lena back. Alex just kept adding more and more to the plate, and Maggie’s steps were becoming jumbled in her head. “What’s step one?”

“Step one is…” Kara begins slowly.

“Step one is…” Maggie echoes.

“Step one is… to steal all the pancakes and ditch the entire plan.” And before Alex or Maggie can stop her Kara has flown away, an empty plate where the pancakes had once been, left behind.

“That little shit.” 

“Well, you tried, Sawyer.” 

“All that classic Maggie Sawyer advice… wasted.” Maggie clutches at her heart dramatically. 

“Still not a thing, babe.”

“Whatever. Just come rub my thighs. They fucking hurt.”

“I think I’d rather make them sorer.”

“Oh, would you now?” 

“Come find out, Sawyer.” Alex challenges and Maggie just laughs, her dimples showing. Alex secretly loved Maggie’s advice because it worked wonders for everyone. And anytime someone gushed about how helpful her wife was, well, Alex just had to reward her. 

\---

Kara had been waiting in the lobby outside of Lena’s office for about an hour now. Jess had told her that Lena did not want to see her nor did she have time to see her even if she wanted to. But Kara knew that Lena wasn’t busy. She could hear her inside, no phone calls coming in or proposals being typed. Lena was crying. It was the kind of crying with light sniffles and red eyes. It was the only kind of crying Lena allowed herself to do. For should she shed too many tears over something, she wouldn’t be able to get over it. After all, that’s what had happened when her brother had betrayed her long ago. So, she wouldn’t let herself cry over Kara. The Kara that she had hoped was in love with her. But instead, she got the version that lied to her. 

“Jess.”

“Miss Danvers, I’ve told you to go home.”

“I know and I will. But I heard your name being called by the janitor over there. Something about a spilled mop bucket leaking into the elevator.”

“Oh, well thank you for informing me. When I get back, I expect you to be gone.”

“Of course. I’m sorry to have bothered you.” Jess simply waves her off as she gets up from her desk and heads toward the elevators. Of course, there was no janitor or spill that needed the assistant’s attention, but Kara needed to find some way to get inside the office. And she figured that coming as Supergirl to Lena’s balcony would not have gotten her very far. But she forgets that thought as she pushes the large grey doors open in order to explain everything to her best friend.

“Kara.” Lena stands, wiping at her eyes profusely as if that would make it any less obvious that she had shed tears over their situation. She braces herself against the desk before she takes in a large breath and speaks again. “What could you possibly have to say now?”

For a second, Lena thinks that Kara doesn’t hear her. But then she notices the way the girl is fidgeting with her glasses and moving her mouth in a way that lets Lena know that she’s trying to speak but she can’t. Lena’s seen her do it before. It’s usually something she does when she’s flustered. But now, Lena pegs it for nervousness. She starts to feel her chest pounding as if her heart is saddened and wants to do something about Kara’s state. But then she remembers how angry she is, and tries to ignore the urge to comfort the Kryptonian in front of her. But it fails.

“Lena.. I…” The blonde is on the verge of tears and that’s when Lena walks over in front of her and places her hands on Kara’s cheeks.

“Kara, look at me.” Kara shakes her head and continues to stare at the ground as hot, fat tears slip down her face. 

“I can’t.”

“Kara.” It’s gentle the way Lena says her name, unexpected. And it makes her look up despite how overwhelmed she suddenly felt at getting to Lena again. 

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Lena removes her hands. 

“Can we talk?” Kara questions, fidgeting with her watch.

“Is that not what we’re doing right now?” Lena says with a lilt in her voice, hoping to make Kara smile. 

“Lenaaaa.” Kara groans out, trying to stifle a laugh at Lena trying to lighten the mood.

“Couch?” Lena asks.

“Couch.” Kara agrees. But after they sit, a silence falls over them. They’re both so busy thinking about what they want to say to one another first that they don’t realize that nothing is being said at all until Kara’s stomach growls. 

“Do you need a snack, Kara?”

“The only snack I see in the room right now is you.”

“Now is not the time for our fake flirting.” Lena laughs and saunters over to her desk to retrieve a bag of chips for Kara. 

“Well, that’s actually kind of what I want to discuss.” Lena comes back and hands the starving Kryptonian the bag. She tilts her head at Kara in a way of questioning what Kara just said.

“Kara if you were ever uncomfortable with my flirting you should have just said so.”

“No, no. It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“Was it real?”

“What do you mean?” Lena cocks her head again. Kara is clearly struggling with words as she looks anywhere but Lena’s eyes. Lena places a hand on one of Kara’s thighs and the girl looks back at her. “What do you mean, Kar?” 

The familiar nickname brings Kara back to Lena, brings her back to everything she wants to say. And then suddenly, she’s doing just that. She’s saying it all. 

“Was it real?” Kara says again. “The times where you would respond to my flirtatious comments? Or the times where we danced together when we went out? Or even the times where we had sleepovers and you ended up cuddled up to me in my bed? Because they all meant something to me. They were all real moments. I didn’t feel like your friend in any of them, or rather I didn’t want to. I’ve always wanted more. So, I’m wondering was it real for you the way it was for me? And I know you’re insanely angry at me right now, Lena. That lying to you was not the route I should have taken. I know that with my entire heart. I could feel it when I first entered the room how much you wanted me to go. But I can’t go again. Not without hearing what I want to hear. I don’t expect any forgiveness for a while. I don’t expect you to even talk to me much either. But if you can, I need to know if you’ve ever felt a single thing for me. Because then I can explain it to you.”

“Explain what to me?”

“That I lied to you out of love. I lied to you because I’ve only ever wanted to keep you safe. I lied to you because I didn’t want you to look at me as just some god with no emotions. I just wanted to be myself with you. Yes, I am Supergirl. I know. But at the end of the day, I’m no less human than you. I want things in life. I want to be your hero because I brought you lunch when you forgot it or when you spilled coffee on your shirt and you needed a new one or when you just needed a partner at game night. I want to be your hero in that way. Because I meant that I would always protect you. And when you threw that back at me earlier, I was so hurt. I’m sorry that you thought I didn’t see you as Supergirl but I did as Kara. I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through these past two days. But I love you. I’m in love with you. And that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

Kara finally takes a breath and that’s when she notices that Lena is in tears again. Fuck, she’d messed up again.

“I’ll go. I’ll go. I’m so sorry Lena if that was too much. I just… you will always be my red sun.” Kara gets up expecting Lena to let her hand fall from her thigh. But Lena moves that hand to grab Kara’s.

“Wait.” Kara sits back down, this time closer to Lena. 

Lena gazes into Kara’s eyes as if she’s searching for any sign that the girl had lied about what she said. But she saw the Kara was scared and honest and brave. And she decided that that’s what she needed to be too.

Lena leaned forward, letting her forehead meet with Kara’s. And then she pressed her own plump lips against Kara’s in a soft and gentle kiss. Kara tries to deepen it, tries to take more, but Lena stops her.

“Kiss me when you’re my hero again.”

“Lena…”

“You’ll be my hero again. I’ll tell you that I love you, that I’m in love with you. I’ll tell you that I want you to be in my life forever, that you should never lie again if you want that too. And most importantly, I’ll tell you everything I’ve ever wanted to tell you. I want you to know all of me when I know all of you. But while I am hurting through it all, I need space.”

“Space like... where that ass is from? Cause’ it’s out of this world.”

“God, just for that you can go.”

“Noooo. Don’t make me go, Lena.”

“I was just joking, but maybe you should for now. Let me heal, Kar. And then I’ll come back to you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Stay safe, Lena.”

“Well, with you patrolling the city, how could I not?”

“I think this conversation has given you memory loss or do you not recall the quarterly attempts on your life?”

“Like I said, I think I’ll be alright.”

“Bye, Lena.”

“Bye, Kara.”

\---

Maggie arrives at Kara’s apartment with a bag of takeout in her hand, expecting the door to be open as it had been for the past few months. Kara hadn’t stopped sulking since she had left Lena’s office that day. But surprise passes over her face as she hears sounds that only happen in one situation.

On the other side of the door, Kara is between Lena’s legs. And Maggie didn’t need to open it to see that it was indeed the Luthor making all the noise. So, she placed the takeout on the ground and just smiled like the Cheshire cat as she walked away.

“God, my hero.” At the words she’d been waiting to hear, Kara removes her mouth from the place that Lena needs her most, and moves toward Lena’s lips. Lena can taste herself on Kara’s tongue as Kara is in her mouth with no warning, but it’s not for long because Lena starts whining and Kara pulls away. “Why... did you... stop? Lena huffs out, bothered but needy.

“You told me to kiss you when I was your hero again. And I hadn’t gotten the opportunity to do that when you walked in here.”

“That’s sweet that you remembered that and all, but I will disappear again for a few more months if you don’t continue what you were doing with that tongue of yours.”

Kara kisses Lena one more time. Lena rolls her eyes but Kara just smiles at her as she goes down again, both of them finally content with where they were with each other, and where they would be going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments always very much appreciated because readers are just as important as writers :)

**Author's Note:**

> To Be Continued :)


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